![]() The study found that men with vulnerable narcissistic traits were more likely to use alcohol or other date-rape drugs to incapacitate their victims, a finding that is especially concerning on a college campus, Mouilso said. Read: Selfie stick: Self-destructive narcissism or harmless way to have fun? People who demonstrate characteristics of pathological narcissism have difficulties when it comes to relating to others, explained the study’s lead author Emily Mouilso, assistant professor at University of Georgia in the US. They are more likely to commit heinous sexual crimes, warns a new study. By finding counseling and strength, life becomes all of a piece again, and the future becomes a promise, not a threat.Now you have more than one reason to stay away from narcissistic men. The past can’t be changed, but the ways we interpret ourselves after rape and assault can be changed: rather than feeling broken, defeated, shamed, and used, a former victim can learn to see herself as a strong and capable survivor. The goal of therapy after rape and sexual assault is healing – healing that will allow a former victim to experience life as a full, whole human being again. Whether the victim comes to terms with ordinary, human lack of superpowers or lives life forever shamed that he or she wasn’t able to prevail against a greater force can depend on timely and competent treatment. Whether you or a loved one pursues help can make a great difference in how the natural guilt and shame reflex are processed. On some level, many of us expect to be able to cope beyond all reason, and forgiving ourselves for mere mortal vulnerability is difficult. ![]() Once a rape or sexual assault victim has found a way past guilt, they must go still further to forgive themselves. This courage is often easier to find and maintain in the care of a counselor who is aware of the human capacity to absorb guilt and shame and can provide a steady, rational and impersonal counter-pressure, while helping a victim slowly unravel the binding threads that trap them in a guilt and shame response. It takes courage and commitment on the part of the victim to find a way past this common reaction. It’s an unfortunate but true fact that the human heart accepts negative judgment and negative treatment easily and deeply. Finally, there is sense of shame and guilt in having been found worthy only of being an object for use and abuse. Rape and sexual assault are further complicated by the cultural blame still associated with being attacked. In spite of having been blameless victims, there is a human tendency to assume fault when bad things happen in our lives. Survivors of violence, and particularly survivors of rape and sexual assault, often feel guilt and lowered self-esteem. Rather than adding guilt to existing stress, a good counselor can help console a victim, and absolve guilt for feelings that are natural and appropriate. He or she will also have a profound understanding of the nature of that fear, and the right a victim has to experience it. Reclaiming courage, however, is brutally difficult.Ī trained counselor can provide the skills and techniques to allow a victim to manage the justifiable fear that can carry over into post-trauma life. Coping with that fear can mean the difference between a life well led and a life on the edge. PTS (post-traumatic stress) expands on that fear, entrenches it, and connects it to unexpected triggers. ![]() For many, fear can become an ongoing issue. The emotions are intense, fully justified, and hard to shake off. ![]() Even an assault by coercion, rather than physical force, involves fear and defeat for the victim. Rape and sexual assault are no less violent and terrifying than any other form of attack or bullying. A capable rape and assault counselor can contribute enormously to the recovery from rape and sexual assault. Finding the skills and strength to move on and past the trauma, however, can be difficult. The best answer is to recover: only then can a victim enjoy the life he or she is entitled to, and only that survival and healing most completely defeats the attacker. Rape and sexual assault are sources of profound trauma, and can often do untold damage to the victims when untreated.
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